MOVING ON

Something maybe sniffed in the air during these cold winter months. So far, this season is actually not as bad as the one last year. I recall finding myself unconsciously crying silently while walking early mornings when the previous nights had brought thick snowfalls from the skies beyond my usual, limited horizon, and I put forward a brave front to my destination. I recall seeing bleak & wet snow covered grounds, with buildings, vehicles silently standing, as I trudged in my heavy boots towards my direction for the day. I always remember vividly the pigeons that were huddled together, adding some color to the bleak surroundings, trying to make the most of it, keeping each other warm, and working on feeding themselves with the food some unknown strangers had thought of casting away as refuse (or perhaps deliberately as feeds for NYC's resident pigeons and other avian & mammalian creatures). I thought to myself, the pigeons could very well help themselves, and proceeded

My friend's mother asked: "Why are there so many blacks here?" as we were taking the subway ride to one of our destinations during their most recent, first time tour here in New York city with someone they knew back from the Philippines. Well, I'm far from being baffled actually why there are so many dark skinned people here in NYC. I myself is colored skinned, being lovely browned skinned and getting always noticed, and positively remarked for it. Perhaps, it's just the way some people look down at some people who look differently than they are. My friend, with his Mom, being Filipino Chinese themselves just couldn't helped themselves getting overwhelmed with the diversity, the richness of the experience of seeing, actually seeing ordinarily looking, yet magnificently attired people (by virtue of their attitude) of different skin colors here in NYC, most especially in the subway. They actually refused to take the subway initially, as they have heard bad thing

I'm glad I took the trip back to New York city on an early Monday morning trip. I was the first passenger to show up that morning, somewhere in L Street between 15th & 16th Streets in Washington, D.C.(am not sure though if this is the correct address), in a bus, aptly called "Dragon." These enterprising short distance transport services have made sure we consumers get the services we need at the least prices for us to pay. What struck me immediately was the Driver, a Chinese guy, who could very well be a relative of mine back in the Philippines. Yes, Filipinos typically share the same, strange, oriental looks some foreigners rave about Asian looks these days. Now, this Driver, spoke Chinese, in Mandarin, actually to me. I knew it, as I've studied Mandarin myself for nearly 3 years on a tutorial basis with an old, gentle fellow who spoke Tagalog, English, Mandarin, Fookien fluently (Mainland Chinese themselves are amazed at his abilities to speak better Mandar

From St Barts' monthly Gay and Lesbian Fellowship, I decided I should go home right away. I soon found myself in the subway station. I saw that it was empty, dank smelling as usual, & except for myself and a homeless fellow who was standing towards the front of the station, waiting for things to happen, the station looked scary. The homeless fellow's body looked bent, given his tall, large frame, and I thought he must have not taken a bath for over a month. Looking for some signs of company, and with no train arriving or departing whatsoever, I realized how this empty station can bring about images of getting violently struck somewhere in the city, for no apparent reason. But reason crept in fast, and I kept myself from being anxious. The homeless fellow looked surprised as well, as we were alone for over 7 minutes in the station. I figured out that I can easily outrun him, in case he turns violent against me, as I walked and got myself seated in the benches in the middle o

Thanks God, I'm able to look and apply for jobs, mainly through Craigslist in its NY site. I have been out of full time work for over a week now. Yesterday, I got to talk with another friend who's based in LA, California. He's been out of full time work along the banking industry for over a month now. He's got reasons why he's decided to give up his work, and get to doing some other things he'd preferred to work on. I figured I can learn from what he's undergone so far. He himself had notable managerial experience in banking, and recruiters are in disbelief why he'd give up the perks of being in a managerial position, and get to start again at the bottom in some other jobs which he thought he could do better. I've figured out that I'd like to have parttime jobs now. This has been the route that I've thought I can pursue even before I got full time jobs here in NYC. Thankfully, I got a response from an employer, and I'm working later today

I'm writing this to share my thoughts and feelings over what happened early this morning. I finally gave up this new job in a new flower and gift shop in Chelsea, Manhattan. [Mind you, I like the job, but I've learned to hate the ones working with me, particularly in this case, the Boss / Business Owner]. My boss and I have been working on the weekly arrangement for a corporate account that happens to be a restaurant blocks away from the Flower Market District and the Empire State Building. Earlier, the parttime Designer had to leave work right away for an emergency. Then, as usual started a miserable hour with my boss who's also the other half of a couple of owners of this new shop. She was already behaving like she was really pissed off of something really unclear to me (as much as I'd like to figure out, I just prayed & hoped things will turn out well according to God's plan). She asked about what we've done so far. I told her I was just waiting for the p

Work has got to define how productive each one us can get. As they say, it's what you get from the day that matters most. After a usual day's work (which may happen to define most of us), I have got completely exhausted, and longed to forget it all, at least in the meantime. My eyes show what lies ahead & what keeps my mind from resting, as I go about the works in prepare myself for bedtime. These hours may vary, largely on what schedule we like and decide to follow each day. Dreams that take place during my rest time will then define my quality of rest. Have a restful time at the end of each productive day, everyone!

I've decided that I like staying here in the USA, no matter what I've seen and experienced todate. These past 5 months, I've been studying and learning how I'm going to accomplish God's purpose for me and to serve others (no matter how daunting these reasons can be). I've been linking, with many lessons gained along the process, my mission to be a business investor / entrepreneur with life's grand vision, as I've continued to read, study and work on applying God's word in my daily life all these years (with the help of others, some of whom have queer ways of giving and loving, and whom I've met at many crossroads in my life). I've spent at least 4 months in New York city (NYC), where I stayed and led my life amidst others who have been apparently like me. Philippine media show not much images that depict that Filipinos are just among the many small groups comprising the very diverse population found in the US, particularly in its key cities l

Sunday, March 06, 2005 first attempt in this cyber cafe now at 22:44 Sunday prior to my decision to sleep to prepare myself for a full week of work tomorrow, i'm working on this blog. i'm doing this amidst the collective, deadening, gleeful noise of hi-strung youthful looking players who use most of the PCs in this cafe. it's as if they want to show everyone else to the door out of this cafe. well, they will need to wait until i'm done with this, or until i'm dead sleepy. apparently, they're among our youthful looking people who prefer to spend nights playing online PC games, fresh from their work in one of those 24/7 business process outsourcing companies here, rather than go straigth home, take good rest, dream details about tomorrow, or worse, do drugs. all this info, i've collected without actively listening, and being focused on this first attempt to do blogging. I also have been viewing other adult-oriented sites through other windows on this PC.i look

Gratefully, I have been able to resign from this 15-year old job where I've gained so much. I gave my resignation letter the day I reported back to work after nearly a month long personal trip to Japan. I've gained much knowledge, many contacts in my network, and have become more steadily familiar with the inner workings of the corporate world, which most media depict as an ungrateful, highly competitive, and eerily disturbing environment (beneath the surface) to spend at least 40 + or - hours of your weekly life. People in this environment look like they're the most "normal" individuals you'll meet in your life. But from what I've learned, I've met the most unkind, the most scheming, and uncaring persons who take themselves seriously, who parade in the most respectable forms, without realizing there are "worlds" outside of business. Well, doing business (in all its forms imaginable) accounts for the largest portion of daily collective human