Father's Day & Learning to Move On from the Bad Memories I Have About my Late Father
I've written many times about my bad memories as well as the good ones I've collected on my late Father, who was not exactly the ideal one (at least, not even one of those types you read on stereotyped characterizations of fathers). I'm grateful he and I had managed to deliberately patch many of the issues we had on each other before he passed on in late 2006. It is an understatement to say that I've learned so much from these really bad experiences with my late Father. I'm just shaking my head over postings I've been reading from relatives and friends who have been expressing their salutations to their fathers on Father's Day. I'm really, genuinely, very happy for them.
In my case, I know I won't be able to say something really similar to my late Father. I'll leave it at that, and I'm grateful that my father was very instrumental in turning me into someone I am right now. I would not take it any other way, or I'll be dishonest with myself. I continue to learn from the lessons and I wish I can make the time to write about this not-so-pleasant set of memories I have about my father. If this had not been the case, why would I still get taken aback whenever I hear very joyous remarks from others about their fathers? I still get so disturbed, somewhat. I can only listen and keep my silence one way or another. And in fact, I'm surprised at how certain friends of mine would respond to me whenever I try to make their fathers look more human than what they have idealized about them in their minds. They're all praises, or probably that's all what I've been hearing from them about their fathers. And they would be quietly surprised (and probably be trying to understand me) as well if I don't respond most positively in return. Why would they bother to listen, anyway? I don't mean to shatter whatever blissful thoughts they have of their fathers. Of course, there are always exceptions, and I continue to be grateful for these exceptions.
Still, I wish the best to all fathers today and all the days to come. I get the sense that they're probably some of the most misunderstood people alive these days.
In my case, I know I won't be able to say something really similar to my late Father. I'll leave it at that, and I'm grateful that my father was very instrumental in turning me into someone I am right now. I would not take it any other way, or I'll be dishonest with myself. I continue to learn from the lessons and I wish I can make the time to write about this not-so-pleasant set of memories I have about my father. If this had not been the case, why would I still get taken aback whenever I hear very joyous remarks from others about their fathers? I still get so disturbed, somewhat. I can only listen and keep my silence one way or another. And in fact, I'm surprised at how certain friends of mine would respond to me whenever I try to make their fathers look more human than what they have idealized about them in their minds. They're all praises, or probably that's all what I've been hearing from them about their fathers. And they would be quietly surprised (and probably be trying to understand me) as well if I don't respond most positively in return. Why would they bother to listen, anyway? I don't mean to shatter whatever blissful thoughts they have of their fathers. Of course, there are always exceptions, and I continue to be grateful for these exceptions.
Still, I wish the best to all fathers today and all the days to come. I get the sense that they're probably some of the most misunderstood people alive these days.
Comments