Critical Lessons on Moving On: Keeping Arms Length Distance From Friends & Relatives Who Don't Appreciate You For Who You Really Are
Recently, I was reminded again of the need to keep arms length distance from friends and other relatives who behave, whenever you interact with them, like they're mocking my life right in my face in mostly silent manner, and who are unappreciative of what I'm doing with my life. Of course, it's never easy doing these steps because I'm always reminded of the fun times I've spent with these individuals. Most of these people are actually good people, too, i.e. they didn't kill someone. But they're basically sick people who enjoy being in their miserable lives, seek and highlight the negative in life, more than anything else. And I'm realizing I'll be getting more sick if I will have to spend more time with them.
I'm not supposed to be their therapist, nor someone with whom they can dump on with their difficulties in life, even if we keep these friendships. Admittedly, I lead a difficult life myself, and can't imagine getting much help from them, unless if I would even want to endure the ignominy of being in their presence. Also, I don't want to be continually faulted by them if I've been able to move on with my life without them accompanying me in this challenging process.
How to keep arms length distance from these people takes some learning of certain set of interpersonal skills; the techniques to be used depend on each person I am now refusing to deal with as much as possible. I can't, of course, cast them off as if they're dead, as that can't be possible. With the advent of today's technology, I can't run away from these people. I can't ignore them completely. Some of them still hold the keys for me to lead a more meaningful life. And I see so many aspects of my life being entangled with them, somewhere, some way, and strangely (as we all belong to the same patchwork of God's set of creations here on earth).
What do you do with people who just hate, silently, your guts? They are those who can't be happy just because you're happy with your own life. They are people who will give you praise, inadvertently, and will then proceed to pull you down by doing activities that will take away whatever pleasure you've received from them in their praises for you (or whatever it is you're doing). They include those who tend to project their own fears, their own failures on you, whenever you meet them.
I'll keep on doing a great reading of them, as much as my faculties will allow me. I'll probably keep silent as much as possible, which state I can break if there's something really critical, positive and important that I want to say. I can keep on writing, and figuring out creative ways to make more money from doing writing works.
Of course, foremost of all, I have to start by forgiving myself for having made these silly mistakes of, mostly, getting myself involved and attached with them, one way or another. I'll work on forgiving them, too. They've hurt me, and would hurt me still if I keep being in constant contact with them. I doubt if they'll ever change, but I do hope I'm wrong.
They will probably become less toxic to deal with if they get the help they need (which I can't provide myself, unfortunately). I guess, their psychotic personalities will always be like how they are now. I recall my late Father, whom I've never realized until late, who was sick from his being an alcoholic (among other precipitating factors). I kept on convincing myself, while he was still around, that he would become a much more better person than the one I grew up with in our family. But it took really so many years for that to happen. And I saw it happened only when my Father was just so sick from his lung cancer. I don't fully understand why it would take so much depravities to take place, so much hurting actions before some of us would finally decide and take action to seek help and be healed from being psychotic and being unable to relate meaningfully well with others.
I'm not supposed to be their therapist, nor someone with whom they can dump on with their difficulties in life, even if we keep these friendships. Admittedly, I lead a difficult life myself, and can't imagine getting much help from them, unless if I would even want to endure the ignominy of being in their presence. Also, I don't want to be continually faulted by them if I've been able to move on with my life without them accompanying me in this challenging process.
How to keep arms length distance from these people takes some learning of certain set of interpersonal skills; the techniques to be used depend on each person I am now refusing to deal with as much as possible. I can't, of course, cast them off as if they're dead, as that can't be possible. With the advent of today's technology, I can't run away from these people. I can't ignore them completely. Some of them still hold the keys for me to lead a more meaningful life. And I see so many aspects of my life being entangled with them, somewhere, some way, and strangely (as we all belong to the same patchwork of God's set of creations here on earth).
What do you do with people who just hate, silently, your guts? They are those who can't be happy just because you're happy with your own life. They are people who will give you praise, inadvertently, and will then proceed to pull you down by doing activities that will take away whatever pleasure you've received from them in their praises for you (or whatever it is you're doing). They include those who tend to project their own fears, their own failures on you, whenever you meet them.
I'll keep on doing a great reading of them, as much as my faculties will allow me. I'll probably keep silent as much as possible, which state I can break if there's something really critical, positive and important that I want to say. I can keep on writing, and figuring out creative ways to make more money from doing writing works.
Of course, foremost of all, I have to start by forgiving myself for having made these silly mistakes of, mostly, getting myself involved and attached with them, one way or another. I'll work on forgiving them, too. They've hurt me, and would hurt me still if I keep being in constant contact with them. I doubt if they'll ever change, but I do hope I'm wrong.
They will probably become less toxic to deal with if they get the help they need (which I can't provide myself, unfortunately). I guess, their psychotic personalities will always be like how they are now. I recall my late Father, whom I've never realized until late, who was sick from his being an alcoholic (among other precipitating factors). I kept on convincing myself, while he was still around, that he would become a much more better person than the one I grew up with in our family. But it took really so many years for that to happen. And I saw it happened only when my Father was just so sick from his lung cancer. I don't fully understand why it would take so much depravities to take place, so much hurting actions before some of us would finally decide and take action to seek help and be healed from being psychotic and being unable to relate meaningfully well with others.
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