Moving On From A Failed (But What Could Have Been a Loving, Lasting) Relationship

Something similar to what is described below happened in the past few days to someone I know. I'll just be sharing a different narrative to put some kind of heavy drapes to cover the actual identities of those involved. The experience is still so fresh as of this writing. And I know I'll be gaining more wisdom from having learned much about one of these relationships that happen every now and then in our respective lives, the narrative just changes depending on individual circumstances.

I'm slowly gaining back my sense of humor and beginning to laugh again at myself. But days ago, I was almost in deep depression. I couldn't accept the fact that I was being dumped by someone who I thought would be an excellent lover for a long time coming, considering the space we've allowed ourselves to meet up with others while we continue being more than lovers. I was probably taking him for granted, and was sending all the wrong signals to him the past 3 years that we've known each other. The sex was great, I have to recall, for at least a year. And a lot of distractions came along the way that brought an invisible chasm between us and despite that, we still managed to bridge the yawning gap because we realized we needed each other. And we would still have fun being with each other.

I continued to date and fool around other guys all at the same time, mainly because they've continued to show up in my radar. And I got my business up and running. Slowly the business has become profitable. He got himself a new job after having been fired from a previous long term job, but with this new one, he soon realized he didn't really like it. And he was soon moving to new job in a year or so, and which new job he definitely has decided he liked better. I was happy for him as he wanted to lead a more predictable route of making a living, which in my case I couldn't fathom and pursue wholeheartedly. I've always known he fools around other guys, too. I know he goes to nude guys events all over the city, as well as those out of town happenings, and which I would have wanted to explore too but I thought the rates are too much for my entrepreneurial budget. I rather save my cash for something more interesting. We soon got into dancing together, and we were happy we have something similar for an interest, other than those obvious ones to both of us as we worked on getting to know each other better.

But the relationship had to end, I'm still figuring out what exactly went wrong and why the relationship had to end. Did it actually grow and blossom in the first place? Have I tended to it as much as my abilities and soul could afford to do so? I'd love to be with him longer but he doesn't want to have anything serious to do with me anymore, other than those things that may probably get him interested in me in the future (if in case we continue with the friendship). I was wondering why he would touch me in locations in my body that he has not done so for some time when we found ourselves one time in a leather bar. I knew he was drunk. And I misinterpreted his actions badly.

He's involved again with another whom he probably thinks could be the better person for his needs and wants. And I'm hurting, such that I would open up even to people whom I have not known for long and those I've not seen personally yet. Thankfully, the realm of the internet now exists for us to avail of to meet part of our needs and wants.

Hi *****    how you doing?

Hi, *****! Am not really doing good; last night I finally got a confirmation that I was being dumped by one of my regular lovers (1 of those I've grown very fond of, but he's told me, the way i recall it now, things are over with us)...& it hurts. I hope u don't mind me talking about these things but then again, who cares
Enjoy your day!

Morning *****    wow im sorry to hear this.. it hurts especially if you have feelings for someone beyond just sex.
 
good morning, ******! thanks, I really needed that....

i feel for you.
we all have been dumped... some of us more than others.

oh, i could give u hug. for now, pls accept a virtual hug...i guess, we never really learn from all these experiences...& in any case, i can always use the lessons & the details to prime up any of my future writings...
i need a hug too...

but i think we can and do learn
from each experience.
i read some wonderful comments that were written about season 3 of downton abbey
especially about THOMAS... the closeted angry devious, but handsome gay man
how everyone disliked him
he had no friends
and one of the writers suggested that he rejected love
and was unable to be close with anyone
 

i had a feeling it was coming, but i was in denial for some time...i was trying to make space, adjust myself so he & i would still continue with what he is making me feel...but then again, i am beginning to understand it's really over...am processing it now...
ha ha ha, i've always heard about downtown abbey, even from someone i was in bed with recently (he was so excited about it LOL)...probably i'll take a look at it but i have to read Jane Austen's novel first before i venture on watching it....have you read Jane Austen's other works? she's one of the best writers, ever!
anyway, *****, you're goodlooking yourself. I would have not gone out of my way to exchange messages with you, if i didn't find you attractive in the first place LOL ha ha ha, am just being a flirt again, which brings me so much misery in due time....

please flirt.... it helps.
 

ha ha ha, i'll reserve most of the flirting when we meet...OK, i gotta go now as there's work to be done during the day. Thank you very much!

when i read what you wrote, the opposite or anti-thesis of flirting is that feeling of subtle distance...
thanks for the visit *****.

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