"You Are the Criminal, and You Also Are Judge?!" How Does That Work?
Here's one of the latest videos on this favorite Rabbi I always watch. It doesn't make sense, really, when you think you've forgiven yourself for your transgressions. It's really God's role to forgive you for your transgressions. Once he forgives you, you then move on and continue being a good person that you've always been. The fact that you're conscious about your transgressions (some call such "sins"), and you are committing to be better, and actually doing good as among God's creations, is itself a celebration. Aren't most of us have become familiar with this process?
Get over that notion already, move on already. You have been forgiven already by God and that is WAY MORE THAN ENOUGH about this process.
All the best.
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