Happy Flying, safely, as we move on! plus 'new airline rules' from a friend's email! :-D

**photo=from an old, old email! ha ha ha!

Happy Flying!

Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir.
May I see your ticket?

Passenger: Sure.

Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please!

Passenger: What for?

Attendant: For telling you where to sit.

Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.

Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a
seat locator fee of $5. It's the airline's new policy.

Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard.
I won't pay it.

Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not?

Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay.
But the airline is going to hear about this.

Attendant: Thank you.
My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy.
Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you?

Passenger: That would be swell, thanks.

Attendant: No problem.
Up we go, and done!
That will be $10, please.

Passenger: What?

Attendant: The airline now charges
a $10 carry-on assistance fee.
Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it.

Attendant: Actually, you're right, you can't stand.
You need to sit, and fasten your seat belt.
We're about to push back from the gate.
But, first I need that $10.

Passenger: No way!

Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply,
I will be forced to call the air marshal.
And you really don't want me to do that.

Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me?

Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal hailing fee.

Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the $10.
I can't believe this.

Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir.
Is there anything else I can do for you?

Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead
fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it?

Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir.
Just insert two quarters into the overhead
coin slot for the first five minutes.

Passenger: The airline is charging me for cabin air?

Attendant: Of course not, sir.
Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge.
It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents.

Passenger: I don't have any quarters.
Can you make change for a dollar?

Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!

Passenger: But you've given me only three quarters for my dollar.

Attendant: Yes, there's a change making fee of 25 cents.

Passenger: For cryin' out loud.
All I have left is a lousy quarter?
What the heck can I do with this?

Attendant: Hang onto it.
You'll need it later for the lavatory.